Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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