Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
