and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
