i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
