i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
