I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
