i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
