Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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