This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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