i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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