All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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