susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
