Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
