Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize