hotel room ftw
i permit you to call me
she looked like the before picture.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
