Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
