god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
