awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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