I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
