I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think your dad took our porno
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
