are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
