Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
