what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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