you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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