So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
