My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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