ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She bit a glass in half.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
