Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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