I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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