Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
