Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
