I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
