we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just google imaged poop.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
FUCK WHALES
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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