Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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