My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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