whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
