it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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