I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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