Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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