Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize