My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner