Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.

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  (269): I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college. http://tfl.nu/4edw
  Replies (30) Good night (6475) Bad night (737)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.

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  (905): He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later. http://tfl.nu/c4t5
  Replies (25) Good night (6394) Bad night (1106)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..

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  (315): Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka.. http://tfl.nu/lv2f
  Replies (20) Good night (4608) Bad night (1127)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick

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  (412): He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick http://tfl.nu/s4cq
  Replies (18) Good night (9459) Bad night (1577)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?

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  (646): Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going? http://tfl.nu/kahl
  Replies (12) Good night (2581) Bad night (4527)
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  (707): View more from California

  You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"

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  (707): You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip" http://tfl.nu/cn9w
  Replies (6) Good night (3587) Bad night (1167)
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  (415): View more from California

  All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk

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  (415): All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk http://tfl.nu/vf88
  Replies (2) Good night (1931) Bad night (1244)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic

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  (617): There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic http://tfl.nu/g9j9
  Replies (4) Good night (1426) Bad night (650)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...

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  (843): he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house... http://tfl.nu/3q6f
  Replies (6) Good night (1999) Bad night (569)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal

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  (440): I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal http://tfl.nu/vouk
  Replies (1) Good night (843) Bad night (477)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital

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  (631): Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital http://tfl.nu/fnso
  Replies (12) Good night (1244) Bad night (808)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn

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  (910): Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn http://tfl.nu/f45w
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (818)
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  (925): View more from California

  I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great

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  (925): I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great http://tfl.nu/slai
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (825)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine

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  (317): Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine http://tfl.nu/233e
  Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (409)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.

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  (330): FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me. http://tfl.nu/jifr
  Replies (3) Good night (527) Bad night (270)

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