Texts From Last Night

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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!

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  (857): Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?! http://tfl.nu/m6me
  Replies (15) Good night (657) Bad night (1327)
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  (516): View more from New York

  whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?

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  (516): whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"? http://tfl.nu/wiv5
  Replies (63) Good night (5438) Bad night (566)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.

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  (251): There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged. http://tfl.nu/om7h
  Replies (17) Good night (6024) Bad night (1846)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning

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  (770): his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning http://tfl.nu/bect
  Replies (32) Good night (15695) Bad night (2502)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot

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  (413): I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot http://tfl.nu/9cpf
  Replies (78) Good night (6547) Bad night (908)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm

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  (702): Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm http://tfl.nu/d1by
  Replies (1) Good night (2162) Bad night (765)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.

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  (540): hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one. http://tfl.nu/c556
  Replies (5) Good night (1804) Bad night (691)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.

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  (270): My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there. http://tfl.nu/pghu
  Replies (0) Good night (1436) Bad night (632)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?

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  (513): I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am? http://tfl.nu/htrk
  Replies (12) Good night (1326) Bad night (694)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.

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  (815): It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/yfvq
  Replies (14) Good night (387) Bad night (982)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It has been happening a lot lately.

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  (330): I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me. (513): It has been happening a lot lately. http://tfl.nu/53io
  Replies (3) Good night (1365) Bad night (456)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected

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  (902): It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected http://tfl.nu/ecct
  Replies (4) Good night (906) Bad night (428)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.

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  (260): He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him. http://tfl.nu/2xzg
  Replies (5) Good night (1657) Bad night (775)
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  (212): View more from New York

  TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."

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  (212): TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man." http://tfl.nu/a530
  Replies (1) Good night (951) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now

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  (857): i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now http://tfl.nu/deer
  Replies (3) Good night (395) Bad night (105)

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