Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
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I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
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I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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