I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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