Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
FUCK WHALES
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