Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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