Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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