Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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