Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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