she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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