Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Non-Jews are for practice
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
