East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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