I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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