I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
