Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
