Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
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