Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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