alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
