gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize