youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
