I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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