The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
this just has baby written all over it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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