They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
