just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
