his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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