i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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