"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
