Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
