thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
