i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
