So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
