sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
